Would you be happier in the hills?
Last week I met a good friend who moved from the city to the hills during the pandemic. He spoke with a glint in his eye about the view of the mountains from his terrace, the weather, and the open space. Then he asked me if I planned to continue in the city.
Over the next few days, I kept going back to ‘what if I move…’ and the idea itself took hold in my head.
If you have felt this way, then you may have experienced something called the 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧.
Daniel Kahneman describes the focusing illusion like a line out of a fortune cookie. ‘𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭.’
What does it mean? We focus on the meaning of what we’re thinking about in the moment while ignoring other aspects of our life.
This is everywhere. Here are a few instances.
For 30 seconds, you watch a happy family cruise along a boulevard in a shiny car on a beautiful day. Based on this ad, you now think that that car can make your life exactly like what you saw.
You see a phone being held up, blocking the face on the billboard, and in that moment you realize your privacy is the one thing worth saving and an iPhone is that one thing that will help you do that.
A friend sounds you out on a business idea and proposes starting up with him the same day you have received a big fat bonus at your job, and all that comes to you is the security your job offers and how comfortable your kid is in her school.
Two things happen when we’re paying attention to something.
One: 𝐖𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟. Watch a movie about wanderlust and then make yourself a backpacking plan. Hear a friend gush about a book she read and then promptly order that book.
Two: 𝐖𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧. Oh, but you’ve a family wedding you’re supposed to be at. And you realize that that unread pile of books contains many favorites. Bang! You’ve moved on already.
As much as the focusing illusion means we think in the moment, it ensures that few of us are happy or sad forever. It helps us survive heartbreak and be meh about a jackpot.
So if you’re thinking about that daunting career switch on the anvil or that big investor pitch next week, remember that that too will pass. Whichever way it turns out, you will get on with your life. And in that sense your life will not be too different from anyone else’s. We all share the focusing illusion.
