Be the opposite of what the world is
One of my favorite nuggets from Shreyas Doshi is his ‘Antithesis Principle’.
Take any behavioral rule of thumb and assume it is true. A confident person appears more competent than someone similarly skilled but less sure of herself.
Here’s how people apply the rule.
👉The foolish one is inattentive. She looks past it. Sometimes, though, the foolish one becomes a contrarian. She rejects the rule. ‘I don’t think people are this stupid’. Or ‘I don’t think it applies to me. I’m different’.
👉The smart one learns to use the principle to her advantage. ‘If confident comes across as competent, I’ll appear sure-footed in my interview’.
👉Like the smart one, the wise one learns to use the principle on others as a lever of influence. But she also applies it to herself by adopting the opposite behavior as the world.
She thinks: ‘If confidence is seen as competence, I’ll appear confident. But I’ll not be the person who’s fooled by confident appearance. I’ll look under it’.
The wise one is both a smarter transmitter and a smarter receiver. A better interviewee and a better interviewer.
Here’s another example of the antithesis principle in effect. The practice of shooting the messenger for bringing an unsavory message is called the ‘Persian messenger syndrome’ (after ancient Persians who were known to kill the messenger who brought bad news).
Smart one: I’ll try not to be the bringer of bad news. If I must, I’ll hide it under good news.
This is not uncommon in firms. Think of those tense product review and governance meetings. Think of the care you take to frame bad news to leaders, like sparing children the news of their parents’ separation.
Wise one: I’ll convey bad news suitably but I won’t diss someone for their mere association with bad news.
Berkshire Hathaway has a rule: ‘Always tell us the bad news promptly. It is only the good news that can wait’. Pretty sure this doesn’t work for Putin.
Most advice you get on social media appeals to the smart one in you. ‘Here’s how you must project yourself to catch the world’s limited attention’.
But in the quest to project ourselves advantageously, we forget that we’re being projected to as well. We forget to defend ourselves against the levers of influence at work on us. We forget to become the opposite of the audience we’re projecting to.
It is impossible to neutralize the effect on ourselves of the same principles that we have learned to apply expertly on others. But being able to call it out with a name goes some way. Shreyas’s Antithesis Principle stirs recognition and leads to action.