A 2X2 Persuasion Framework for You

You’re probably going to scroll past this but if you ever have found getting alignment at work challenging, my Persuasion Framework is just for you.

When you’re pushing for something, those around you will have their guards up. This is something called ‘psychological reactance’–we tend to react against whatever we perceive as being sold to us. And that’s pretty much all the time: a cross-functional change, a salary negotiation, a new product.

This happens because people see any information you present, however legit, as part of the trap of persuasion. You’re trying to tie their hands. So they try and break free. There’s a way around this.

Imagine a 2X2 matrix with Low-High and Reluctance-Acceptance as the two axes. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭.

🚫𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬. ‘Here’s why you should do X’. This is what most of us do. We make sure we present a strong case for. But our audience sees this as arm-twisting. Clients fake excitement and promise to get back. They seldom do. Ditch this tactic.

✔𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐧𝐨. ‘But you’re free to decline’ OR ‘You’re probably going to decline, but…’ The first phrasing reduces reluctance against yes, while the second increases reluctance against no. Both tactics work–cold emails, requests for donations, etc. I opened this post with the second phrasing. If you’ve reached this far, I did good.

✔𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬. ‘Here’s why you should not do X’ This makes people trust you because you’re giving them a choice. It also moves them from self-defense to co-solving mode. Works best in client pitches.

🚫𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝. ‘All you have to do is X and we have a deal’. The desired outcome here is something to be gained. But what matters more (twice as much) to people is what they can lose. 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥. Use it. Switch to High Acceptance with a simple change: ‘We have a deal. All you have to do is X.’ You’re telling them the deal’s theirs to lose. Hard to ignore in negotiations.

A CEO has to convince her board, a CXO has to influence the leadership group, a young manager has to persuade her boss, and so on. If you think you’re in a unique situation, you’re not. Get out of that mindset and start learning how to influence without authority.